August 11th marks the 3rd year since I made this Newgrounds account!
I don't have celebratory art or anything, all I have is this big fat write up on not only my experience on Newgrounds, but really the internet as a whole. Sometimes I just get in the mood to do a really big self-reflection of sorts like this. I won't go into anything too extremely trauma-dumpy, but I also know seeing a big wall of text isn't the most interesting thing people want to see.
Before getting all self-reflective, here's some ideas I have at least some progress in:
- A roughly half-finished drawing themed after Pokémon Mystery Dungeon (That I technically started before the One Way Heroics 12th anniversary pic but was pushed back so I could finish that one in a timely matter)
- Random Character Collection Series 3 is in progress. Series 4 is planned to be a Pokémon specific one!
- I plan to make a content pack for The Choicer Voicer, featuring not only voice lines from random sources but also custom judges and hosts! This is currently on hold, in part to give YeahMaybe time to develop more updates to the game itself.
- Other misc. mod WIPs for various games are indefinitely on hold due to lack of motivation.
Alright self-reflection time...
I've kinda just been vibing here on Newgrounds, not doing much, but enjoying my time. This self-reflect also kinda serves as a re-introduction and background of me for those who are newer here. It might be a bit mis-organized due to my lifelong hatred to writing and sporadic thoughts, but I'll keep the Newgrounds specific stuff at the beginning.
I've known about Newgrounds since around the late 2000s. Other than being underage at the time, I didn't make an account back then because of this place mainly being associated with animations and videogames; two things that I of course had interest in, but both seemed too intimidating to try myself. Then I heard that the art section on Newgrounds was being expanded. It was around 2018 when I considered making a Newgrounds account again. Around this time I was still posting on both Deviantart and Tumblr, along with making a Reddit account in 2016.
The making of my Newgrounds account also marked the end of me posting my own art on my DeviantArt page. I still visit dA on the occasion to view/favorite art, so I haven't deactivated. I still remember all the Flipnote Hatena artists flocking to dA as the service was shutting down. It was either that or Twitter from my observation. A few months after I made my dA account I made a Tumblr account after I found an ask blog that was cross-promoting on dA that I wanted to follow. I still have the same Tumblr account to this day, I've seen hundreds of other accounts come and go. I don't think I could leave Tumblr like I did DeviantArt. I haven't used it as much as I used to because of people leaving and my dashboard being half full of Palestine fundraisers or other current events that go against using the site as escapism. Posts about current events have always been there, it just feels like they're taking over.
I am an only child, the kind that didn't have much social interaction beyond family and school (and school ones being the bare minimum). I don't know how obvious that is from how I act and some of my quirks. As such social interaction is not my strong suit. Notification intimidation is common, in part due to all the controversies and conflicts I've seen happen to others. I don't follow the toxic stereotype that's well known online, but I don't really do much else either. I can think of things I could do, but then the fears set in and I continue to do nothing. Being scared to try things over all these years is catching up on me. Less and less time left I can get away with this.
Even so, I have made efforts to be more social. I have been more active on Reddit, mainly helping people identify videogames and asking for help on my own games I've forgotten over time. My Pixiv account, which I made to follow some Japanese artists and others who were on there, finally has some of my own art on there. I don't know if I'll ever expand to posting more on there, but it's something new that I tried. Even then, both of those things are just internet related. IRL, I feel like I have been plateaued for years. I still fear notifications, emails, and the like. It's a hurdle that I've had for years.
Art has always been the thing I've felt the most competent in, seeing all this AI jargon is infuriating. Sure, I personally don't think I can be replaced by it, but as long as a large amount of the population (and those with the money) think that way... Know what one of my other top interests is? Voice Acting. Yep. The other thing that's being heavily attacked by the "AI can replace your job" crowd. I'm not innocent of using AI, but I've only used it for fun and never tried to pass it off as my own stuff, let alone try to profit off of it like some degenerates do.
Disappearing from the internet to work on IRL things is a common option, but I don't know if I ever could do that. Attempts in the past didn't really accomplish much. My long craving for interaction combined with technology just being integrated in nearly everything makes that almost impossible. This is also the explanation on why I don't really post often in general, why I'm hesitant to jump on more websites.
If anyone does read this, I appreciate it. Still kinda used to not really being known so that and any reacts/comments would catch me off guard. Harsh reality checks are what get me to type out stuff like this in the first place really.
